


My Honey Bun

by Stealthtable



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Come Swallowing, Cooking, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-12 01:50:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13537128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stealthtable/pseuds/Stealthtable
Summary: Kravitz runs out to the tailor, and comes back with a snack.Taako is having none of it.





	My Honey Bun

Taako stands behind the open door, eyes on the space just beyond it, waiting. Kravitz will be home from his run to the tailor any minute, and Taako’s gonna wait right here until he walks through the door. Good thing Kravitz’s heart doesn’t really need to beat, Taako snickers, otherwise he’d have a heart attack.

Taako hears a key in the lock and freezes, focusing his breathing so he’s as silent as possible. The front door swings open, and Taako hears Kravitz step through. Taako’s behind the bedroom door, and it shouldn’t take long for Kravitz to make his way there, if for no other reason than to find Taako. Taako hears shoes hit the floor, and a cloak hung up, then footsteps as Kravitz walks further into the living room.

“Taako? I’m home, love,” Kravitz calls. Taako suppresses a giggle. He hears the sofa settle. Kravitz must’ve sat down. He’ll have to come into the bedroom, though, surely, to put away the shirt he picked up at the tailor’s. Taako hears paper sliding across other paper--pages turning, maybe? It’s okay. He’ll come, and Taako’s gonna get him.

Another page turns. Kravitz is just sitting there, reading. How fucking boring. Maybe he assumes Taako’s in the restroom and he’s being polite. That’s gotta be it. Otherwise he’d have come looking for Taako by now, it’s been what, six whole minutes since he got home?

Taako hears another page turn, and an interested “Hm,” from Kravitz. Fine. Read the stupid nerd book. Ignore your amazing husband, ingrate. Just fine, Taako thinks impatiently. Taako taps his foot once, then stills as he realises Kravitz could probably hear that. That gives Taako an idea.

Taako reaches out with a mage hand and knocks a bottle of hand lotion off the dresser. It hits the ground with what Taako figures should be a loud enough sound to attract Kravitz’s attention. Taako waits.

Another page turns. Taako is getting more irritated by the second. For all Kravitz knows, he’s not even in the house. Did he even check for a note? Didn’t bother to call his Stone of Far Speech? Not even a fucking text? Taako huffs, fairly certain that Kravitz could hear that. Probably didn’t, though, with his nose so far into his stupid book or whatever. Maybe Taako should knock something else down.

Taako hears Kravitz shift in the living room, then footsteps. Good. He’s finally gonna come put his clothes away and Taako will jump on his back and scare the shit out of him. Maybe instead of just a prank, Taako can angle this whole sitch toward the bed for a little quality time. That sounds promising.

Kravitz’s footsteps head into the kitchen, and Taako hears the sounds of Kravitz rummaging around for a snack. Fucking excuse me? Taako cooks his ass off and what’s Kravitz gonna eat in there? Fantasy Hot Pockets? Taako almost storms out to the kitchen to smack whatever trash food Kravitz has come up with straight out of his hands, but at the last second he stays behind the door. He still hasn’t given up on his prank, and though he’s been called impatient, he’s also been called stubborn.

Taako hears Kravitz walk back into the living room and settle back onto the sofa. He peeps around the door to see Kravitz hunched over the coffee table, jamming what looks like a prepackaged honey bun into his craw. Seriously? Seriously, Kravitz? At this point it’s intentional provocation and Taako has had enough. He bursts into the living room in a righteous culinary fury and confronts Kravitz.

“What the FUCK are you eating?” Taako demands. “You live with the world’s greatest chef, me, and you want some sort of desperate 2 am convenience store food? With me, the chef, who has for all you know been missing for the last 20 minutes? Give me that,” he says, snatching the remainder of the roll from Kravitz’s mouth and bopping him on the nose. “No. We eat good food around here,” he says, regarding the half eaten sweet with suspicion.

Kravitz looks slightly stunned. He hadn’t really expected the honey bun to be Taako’s breaking point. He had assumed Taako had either run over to Lup and Barry’s for a minute or was lying in wait for him somewhere, pretty much a coin flip on those, but he had figured time would solve that riddle one way or the other. “Hello, love, I missed you,” Kravitz says innocently, looking up at Taako from the sofa with that face he knows Taako can’t resist, “could I have my snack back?”

“No, you cannot have your fucking snack back! I’m offended you can even call it that. If you want a real honey bun, I’ll make you dozens, dingus, all you have to do is ask,” Taako huffs, dropping the rest of the bun onto its wrapper.

Kravitz stands up and wraps his arms around Taako’s waist. “How about a kiss then, could I have that?” he asks, leaning in. Taako squirms a little and kisses Kravitz, who kisses right back.

“Ugh, you taste like being fifteen minutes late for your morning college class,” Taako grouses. “I’m surprised you didn’t pair it with Fantasy Mountain Dew, shit.” Kravitz reaches behind him with a foot and shoves a throw pillow over, but not in time to hide the bright green bottle wedged between the cushions. Taako groans. “Seriously, Krav? I’m making us a good dinner tonight, and you’re helping. It’ll be good for you to see what real food looks like.” He grabs Kravitz’s hand and pulls him into the kitchen, then ties an apron on and tosses one to Kravitz.

“For starters, let’s get some real honey buns going so you can taste the difference. We’ll need flour,” Taako says, reaching for the door to the lower left hand cupboard.

Kravitz looks up from tying the apron and reaches for the cupboard door, too. “I’ll get the flour, love, no need--” he begins nervously, then stops as Taako pulls the door open, revealing a jumble of honey buns, cupcakes, and mini donuts along with the rest of the six-pack of soda.

Taako glares. “Would you get these things out of my face?” he requests, exasperated. Kravitz scoots the snacks aside and pulls out the container of flour for Taako. “I just feel so sorry for you,” Taako explains, “my poor husband needs food with art and love in it!”

Kravitz smiles. He knows that Taako is half (maybe half? Almost? Maybe a quarter) teasing. He follows Taako’s directions, fetching ingredients and measuring and preparing the pan, and before he knows it Taako’s skillful hands are shaping the dough into spirals ready to go into the oven.

Taako washes the flour off of his hands and dries them on a dish towel. He hooks a finger into the apron string encircling Kravitz’s waist and pulls him close. “Ready for the sweetest part?” he asks, lips almost touching Kravitz’s own.

“Ready,” Kravitz breathes, waiting for a kiss.

“Good,” Taako says briskly, pivoting abruptly toward the cupboard and leaving Kravitz hanging. “For the icing we start with powdered sugar,” he says, bending over to retrieve it. His shorts ride up, and Kravitz gapes. This is the sweetest part--the sweetest torture anyway. 

Taako snaps his fingers in Kravitz’s face. “Pay attention, hot stuff, c’mere and stir this up,” he instructs. Kravitz obediently steps up to the counter and picks up the whisk. He clumsily tries to swish the liquid into the powder.

Taako steps up behind Kravitz and presses his body into Kravitz’s, wrapping his arms around and placing his hands over Kravitz’s. “Like this,” he says, “nice and smooth, not too hard and not too gentle.” He guides Kravitz’s hand on the whisk, and the icing starts to take on the right consistency. Taako pulls their hands up, letting icing drip from the whisk back into the bowl. “See? Just right,” he says. He kisses Kravitz’s jaw right as the oven timer goes off, and then he’s gone, pulling the pans out of the oven. Kravitz holds the whisk and stares at him. He’s doing this on purpose, and Kravitz’s cock knows it.

Taako sets the pans on cooling racks to let the air circulate beneath them. “Give ‘em a minute and we’ll ice ‘em,” he says. Kravitz nods. Taako smirks. “You good, handsome?” he asks with a wink.

“Yeah,” Kravitz manages.

“You look like you want dessert, good thing we have all these honey buns,” Taako teases. He hovers a hand over the rolls. “Bring the icing, let’s finish these up,” he says. Kravitz hands the icing over, and Taako begins to drizzle it generously over the hot rolls. He sets the empty bowl down in the sink, swipes a drop of icing from the inside and pushes his finger into Kravitz’s mouth. Kravitz sucks it, and Taako smirks again.

“You know we can’t eat these yet, right? We’d burn our mouths,” Taako says. “Got any suggestions for something to do in the meantime, handsome?” he asks, popping his finger back out of Kravitz’s mouth.

“Yeah,” Kravitz manages again, kneeling and tucking Taako’s apron up and out of the way. He begins to caress the bulge at the front of Taako’s shorts.

Taako laughs. “You want that right here?” he teases.

Kravitz pushes Taako back toward the counter and undoes his shorts. “Definitely,” he says, yanking the shorts to Taako’s ankles. He squeezes Taako’s already-hard cock through his underwear, then pulls them down too.

“Don’t you make a mess of my kitchen--Krav!” Taako cries as Kravitz takes the whole length of him into his mouth in one smooth motion. Taako braces against the counter as Kravitz brings his hands up to squeeze Taako’s ass cheeks as he sucks.

“Oh, baby, don’t stop,” Taako moans. Kravitz swirls his tongue around the head of Taako’s cock and takes him deep again and again, teasing and sucking as Taako squirms against the counter. Taako winds his right hand into Kravitz’s hair, the left still gripping the countertop. “Kravitz,” he moans, “oh, perfect, just right, I’m gonna come!” he cries, tugging on Kravitz’s hair in case he wants to get out of the way. Kravitz slams Taako’s cock down his throat, nose against Taako’s belly as Taako comes with a long groan. 

Kravitz swallows and pulls off of Taako’s cock. He looks up at Taako from the floor. “No mess, love,” he says, smirking a little.

Taako looks slightly dazed, in a good way. “Fuck,” he manages.

“Well, I mean, you’ll need a bit of time…” Kravitz teases. He gently dresses Taako again and pulls his apron back into place. “Maybe dessert after dessert?” he suggests.

“Hell yes,” Taako grins. He washes his hands, then turns to plate some honey buns. Suddenly he remembers. “Hey, wait a minute, where’s your shirt?” he asks.

“My shirt? Oh, from the tailor? It wasn’t ready yet, I told them I’d pick it up tomorrow,” Kravitz says, standing back up.

“So you’re gonna pop over there tomorrow then?” Taako repeats.

“Yes, I’ll just swing by and pick it up and be home in no time.”

Taako grins, thinking about his spot behind the bedroom door. “Excellent.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay look. I was kinda stuck so I set out to write a drabble. Right. Okay. Have fun.
> 
> Yell in the comments if you so choose!


End file.
